Beginning new relationships has always been difficult for me.  I have got all the basics down . . .I know how to use body language, I can say all the right words . . .because of past " horror stories"  (you can insert your list here, we all have them ) I allow my self to have 'superficial' relationships - - surface relationships.  What I truly  desire is an intimate relationship . . . I desire a 'soul' mate.

How do you post your desire to a profile?  How do you expose what you truly desire?  I decided that IF that is what I truly DESIRE, than it should not be that difficult to have it! Let me share with you my "journey"

Through past relationships I have learned :  Betrayal is not LOVE, Abuse is not LOVE, Sex is not LOVE, (and babies don't make him stay!)  LOVE is painful. . . I felt as though my heart were ripped out of my chest, cut with a razor, wrapped in barb wire, stuffed back in and every breath I took became more constricting.  That was LOVE to me . . . LOVE = pain

Behaviors are not relationships . . .

Behaviors are being secretive, changes in appearance or 'style', being 'un-available', being intentionally deceitful, not communicating . . .